you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
