i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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