Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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