"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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