Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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