Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
last night I used snow as a chaser
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize