i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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