You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
