Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
