but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
