All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
