you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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