hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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