I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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