I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
