when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
