Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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