every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
