we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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