Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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