That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
