OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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