just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
