1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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