I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
