Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize