bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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