Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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