He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
