He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
