You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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