I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
