I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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