Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.