Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry my hands just texted you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
