how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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