Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
