trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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