It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize