I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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