Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
