I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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