My sheets look like a crime scene.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
