Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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