I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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