remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Welp...herpes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
