You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
