Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
