Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
