i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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