I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
