last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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