I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize