I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
