THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize