3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
