69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
