someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
